Yes, it's true.
The rumors, the whispers, the murmured assignations. All true.
We lost the ComiCon video contest at SideshowCollectibles.com.
I know ... you're upset. We all are. It's understandable. But we have to move beyond this.
Well, you do, anyway. Me? I'm gonna stew in my thick, bubbling gravy of defeat a smidge longer.
Ouch. My groin. My pride, too, I guess. But mostly my groin.
It's not that I'm a sore loser ... I just wish nothing but agony, death and eternal heartache on all the winners.
Okay, perhaps that's a bit strong.
Maybe just some dismemberment.
You're right, that's probably still a little strong.
Mild dismemberment. Happy?
But here's the thing about losing that's actually great. Now I don't have to worry about the loss of freedom and anonymity that would certainly have accompanied all the international adulation and fame I'd surely have received for winning. Plus, I didn't have to suffer through a free trip to ComiCon or get overburdened by a mess of free cash and prizes.
So, yeah, in that way, it's super awesome to be a loser. I'm so much better off now.
On the other, less ironic, hand ... there's also the spite.
In all seriousness, I've long maintained that spite is a wildly underrated emotion with the potential to be a tremendous motivator. The best way to get me to do something and do it well, is to tell me: A) that I can't do it, or B) that even if I could do it, I couldn't do it well.
Once the dander gets up, I tend to focus and do some halfway decent work.
So this shocking and tragic loss has only raised my game for next time.
We will meet at the commercial contest again, Sideshow Collectibles. And next time I'll be wearing my punching fists ... and I will beat you so hard with my awesomeness that you will weep prize money into my ultra-absorbent pockets.
Till next we meet ...