Wednesday, January 20, 2010

How Bad Do You Want Warm, Cozy Floors?


I'm asking here.

How important is it to you to have warm cozy floors?

Cuz I just happen to know a guy who might be able to hook you up. A guy who's INSANE for warm, cozy floors.

He's an old buddy of mine, Bobby CrazyToe.

We met years ago. I was doing a nickle in Reno for-- well, that's not important. What is important is that Bobby's NUTS for warm, cozy floors. NUTS, I tell ya!

But ... I gotta say up front ... he can come across a little ... well ...

But only when you first meet him. After that ... once you get to know him ... he's just a regular Joe.

A regular Joe who might just enjoy a warm, cozy floor a little too much.

Oh, Bobby CrazyToe ... put on a sock if you're going out in public.

Till next we meet ...

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Fool's Errands (Monday 1/18/10)

1) Stay strong. Whatever you do, keep that New Year's Resolution about not murdering and eating David Spade. Oh ... who am I kidding? One little bite couldn't hurt. Besides, who's going to miss him?

2) It's 2010. Remind yourself to stop writing 2009 on your checks. Also, remind yourself to stop writing checks. Because it's 20-goddamn-10, grandpa.

3) Market own line of frozen finger foods made entirely of own fingers.

4) Take down Christmas lights.

5) Keep telling yourself that Avatar is a brilliant, well-written, subtle and nuanced story that nobody has ever seen in another movie before. Ever. Repeat until you believe it. This may take a while. Budget your afternoon accordingly.