Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Just Turn That Frown* Upside Down!

*And by "Frown" we of course mean "horrible, horrible, electro-stabby murder-death."

Life is all in how you look at things. It's true.

Perspective can be everything, even in bad situations! You just have to learn to look on the bright side!

Now, on one hand, you could look at this poor fellow and think: "Jeez, being lightninged to death in your middle parts sure looks like it smarts!"

But did you ever stop to think that maybe he's actually enjoying this?! Perhaps his spine is really snapping backward in the ecstasy of glorious sexual release!

This move is listed in the Kama Sutra as "the Lightning Rod." Probably.


You don't seem convinced.

Okay, how about this, Mr. PessimistPants! Things could always be worse! This has got to be preferable to hurtling down, batch first, onto a bunch of barbed punji stakes, right?!


Still not convinced? Jeez, your glass is really half empty, isn't it! What's it going to take before you see a bright side here?

Okay, how about this ...

He's being abducted by aliens!

There! How's that for cool and exciting!

What an awesome story to tell your friends should you ever recover memories of the event!

And best of all ... there's absolutely no danger to be found!

I mean, nobody has ever been probed to death!

"Oh no! My tender probe-ables!"

You know ... apart from all those cows with the missing anuses.

And H.R. Giger, probably.

Oh, never mind.

Till next we meet ...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

How To Summer

How To Summer: In Three Easy Steps.

A public service announcement.

(AKA: From Fat Aragorn to Emmet Otter in ten easy minutes.)

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

It is now Summer.

Please enjoy responsibly.

Till next we meet ...