Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear NJ Transit Commuters ...

And so the recycling effort continues. Here's a selection of my Twittered posts from yesterday ...

Dear Manhattan Tourists: I know you have no idea where you are or where you’re going -- but you’re in my way. Could you please get lost a little faster?

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: STOP running, and shoving, and elbowing to get to the train. It is NOT the last chopper out of Saigon.

Dear Elderly NJ Transit Commuter: You probably don’t really need that cane. Considering you just blew past me at a DEAD RUN.

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: Exactly why ARE you running for this train? Are you worried you’ll be late for home?

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: Are you completely unfamiliar with how stairs work? It’s called a line and it starts behind me.

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: Seriously. Stop running. This isn’t Wal-Mart and they’re not giving away VCRs.

All aboard the Crazy Train. Next Stop? Lord of the Goddamn Flies.

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: Again, why all the pushing and shoving? Why the hell are you in such a hurry to get to New Jersey?

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: Stop running. This is not Pamplona and there are no bulls behind you.

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: Fun Science Fact: Elbowing me in the sternum as you sprint by will not make trains move faster.

Dear NJ Transit Commuters: You are SO lucky I don’t own a taser. I would drain this city’s electric grid dry, muthafuckas.

Till next we meet ...

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