Nothing Gets By Gretta ...

Nothing! You hear me?

NOTHING gets by Gretta.


Not a goddamn thing!

This is Gretta we're talking about here!

She's BOLD! She's POWERFUL! She's PERSISTENT!

She's the Great Wall of China, a pack of angry wolves and a supermassive black hole all rolled into one!

Nothing get's by Gretta! No sir! No ma'am!


You can bet your life on it!

NOBODY, BUT NOBODY, IS GETTING BY GRETTA!


Except maybe that one guy.

You know the one I mean.



THE GUY WITH ALL THE PHOTOSHOP IN THE WORLD!


To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced this image was ever an actual "photograph" in the first place. It looks to me like it may have started life as a butter sculpture or perhaps a painting made entirely from duckling fuzz.

And still, that was way before all the Photoshop.

To get to this final stage, this picture has had more work done than Joan Rivers, Cojo and Mickey Rourke combined.

Hey Fox News ... wouldn't it have been less labor intensive to just go door to door across the country and smear Vaseline directly onto corneas of every person in America?



Till next we meet ...