Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sometimes Your Thumb Betrays You

Like when it decides to stop pushing buttons on the remote when Van Helsing comes on. Here are some recycled Twitter posts to help you share my pain.

Watching Van Helsing on cable. Because not everybody goes to CraigsList for their masochism.

I wonder if the folks who made Van Helsing feel like they got totally robbed by Cat Woman at the Razzies.

"Ha-cha-cha-CHA! It's just like Krull! But with fancy new hats!"

Favorite awful thing about Van Helsing? Kate Beckinsale's accent's a contender. Her dialect coach? Apparently The Count from Sesame Street.

Van Helsing is like CSI: Miami. So bad on every possible level--writing, directing, acting, design--that they MUST have MEANT it to be bad.

That level of suck just can't be accidental.

Kate Beckinsale: "Nothing is faster than Transylvanian horses. Not even werewolves." Bold claim. Mythbusters, the gauntlet has been thrown.

Another contender for best terrible thing in Van Helsing: Hugh Jackman's kicky Jennifer Aniston haircut! So sassy!

And all the rope swinging! It's like Wile E. Coyote made a whole movie from that scene in Crystal Skull.

Dear ALCS Game 6: Thanks for throwing me down, jamming a knee in my back, wrestling the remote from my fist and turning off Van Helsing. I owe you.

Till next we meet ...

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