A Fool's Errands (Monday, 10/19/09)

1) Remember to secure hatch on homemade balloon so your good-for-nothing asshole kid can't sneak out and wreck your chance at your own balloon-based reality show.

2) Swine Flu ... GET SOME!

3) Photoshop fashion magazine cover photo of that grotesque fatty Keira Knightley so she looks like she's got a half-inch waist and legs that are eight feet long each.

4) Replace furnace filter.

5) Keep fucking that chicken.