Thursday, February 18, 2010

Stick Figures In Peril!

Oh, the Stick Figures!

Oh, the Peril!

Today, it's a study in contrasts. America vs. Europe. Which one is tougher? Whose Stick Figures can take more Peril?

1) To start, let's take the standard American "Wet Floor" sign. It's a classic of the Stick Figure in Peril genre.

The thing about this, though, is that this Stick Figure doesn't appear to be in all that much Peril. He seems to be sitting down rather gently, actually. There's a relaxed air about things. Almost casual. Pretty chill, really.

But ...

Drop some classic, old school, beat-box jams ... and this b-boy just might bust some dope downrock moves. As my grandfather always used to say: "One man's 'slipping-on-wet-floor-and-injuring-his-spine' is another man's 'sweet-ass one-handed airbaby'."

(That was around the time we put him in a home.)

2) Anyhow, as you might imagine, in Europe they do things a little differently. That's what makes them so Europe-y, after all.

But it might surprise you to discover just how hardcore they can be about this sort of thing.

Here's some free advice: If a European tells you the floor is wet ... well, you better listen up, yank. Cuz they're not fucking around.

Case in point ...

This particular floor is so wet ... that it seems to be about TEN FEET UNDERWATER.

The squiggly line, after all, is the international symbol for water level. That's SCIENCE.

And upon closer inspection, there's a good chance the water's even deeper than that. According to the proportions of this sign, Europeans clearly seem to be enormous. They've outgrown their triangles!

I'm sure it's got something to do with the metric system and socialized medicine.

3) But in the end, the momentum shifts back to the U.S. in the "Whose-Got-More-Peril" game.

Especially when we get to this guy.


Because he's about to get into a New York City cab.

Game. Set. Match.

Suck it, Europe.

Till next we meet ...

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