You may not even realize it, but you've been BEGGING for this. BEGGING.
So now ... at long last ... I give to you ...
Steven Seagal Lawman: The Drinking Game!
Here are the rules:
Whenever Steven whisper/mumbles any variation on: "I've been studying the martial arts for 40 years": DRINK.
Whenever they cut to Steven and he's clearly chewing something ... but there's NO food around: DRINK.
Whenever a bad guy is clearly caught by real cops, but they cut to Steven making the arrest: DRINK.
Whenever Steven dispenses "wisdom" about a cop's life and you can actually see his silver-haired, career-cop partner die a little inside: DRINK.
Whenever Steven refers to the Projects as "the 'Jects": DRINK TWICE.
Whenever Steven gets visibly winded after the first five steps of a foot pursuit: DRINK. SIT. HAVE A LITTLE REST.
Whenever Steven blots the slick, glistening ham jelly (or perhaps it's sweat) from his brow with his trusty towel: DRINK GRAVY.
(Whisper/mumbled) "It's ham jelly AND sweat." --Steven Seagal
Please note: Steven Seagal Lawman may only be a half-hour show, but play by these rules and you WILL go through vast amounts of alcohol. So plan your booze shopping accordingly.
Till next we meet ...