Friday, July 17, 2009

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream ... Cuz It's Bullshit!

Double scoop of righteous indignation? Don't mind if I do.

So, after a recent ... oh, let's call it a "Brush With The Law" ... I was on the NJ Motor Vehicle website doing a bit of research.

(See, I got a couple of tickets recently. Oooh, I hope they're to a show! Or maybe a theme park!)

Anyhow, during said research I happened upon a list of moving violations and something struck me. Hard.

"Improper passing of a frozen dessert truck."

Well, that didn't make any sense at all. So I read it again. And sure enough:




Written right there. Right into New Jersey law.


And so, by the power vested in me by nobody in particular ...

I call "Bullshit."

We concur. 'Tis bullshit, verily.

I mean, it's one thing for traffic to be held up by a school bus that's collecting or depositing its passengers. School is a necessary and important part of society. And I, for one, don't mind being inconvenienced by it.

But an ice cream truck? Really, New Jersey? Really? This is something you thought was so important that it needed to be explicitly spelled out in your State Vehicle and Traffic Code?

So the entire world has to stop and wait whenever a fat kid waddles across the street to get their gooey, melty, sticky fix from a carny/ex-con in a rusted-out, converted ambulance?

Yes, the world waits for you, you tub of shit.

So I repeat for emphasis: Bullshit.

I blame the powerful Frozen Dessert Truck lobby for exerting their delicious, delicious influence to get a law passed that's favorable to them.

Their lobbyists watch you while you sleep. Fatty.

Just another example of how the common man is crushed under the sticky thumb of Big Sweetness.

Bull. Shit.

Not a suggestion. That would be illegal.

Till next we meet ...

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