It's America's Favorite Game!

You know it! You love it!

Once again it's time to play ...

Ice Cream Treat or Horrifyingly Perverse Sex Act!

Now let's give a warm hand for your host ... Wink Martindale!


Till next we meet ...

Um ... CNN?

Given the story's headline, I think the word you're probably looking for ...

... is "Terminated."

In a related story, SkyNet is pleased to announce that it has now become fully self-aware and that the robot apocalypse is proceeding on schedule and under budget. Adding: "11001010101010101."


Till next we meet ...

You Know What The Problem Is With Most Of My Buddies?

They're just not portable enough!

Well, not anymore!

SOLVED!!




Till next we meet ...

I'm Not Quite Sure Why ...

... but somehow my lunch is making me feel like such a bad, bad, dirty boy.

True, I should probably be spanked for eating this ... but not quite in the style the folks at Wetzel seem to favor.


Till next we meet ...

This Is The Most Delightful Thing I've Seen Today

Disgustingly, the Meat WITH Feet truck never leaves Quentin Tarantino's driveway.

Because ... see ... he's always going on about the foot fetish thing ... in every goddamn movie ... because he's a gigantic perv ... and somehow we're supposed to give a shit about his personal kinks ...

Oh, never mind.



But this truck? Awesome.


Till next we meet ...

Pop Quiz: How Desperate/Hungry/Stoned Are You?

Should you find yourself in the frozen food aisle at 2:30 in the morning and this box has captured your attention ...

... then clearly you are:

A) Pretty Freakin' Desperate/Hungry/Stoned

However, if five to ten minutes pass and you haven't moved an inch, but continue to stare fixedly at the box without blinking ...

... then clearly you've moved on to the next phase:

B) Extremely Goddamn Desperate/Hungry/Stoned

But ... if these symptoms persist and you bring this box to the register anyway ... despite the clearly-printed single-word warning (presumably from the Surgeon General himself) that means you should NEVER, under ANY circumstances, put this item in or around your mouth ...

... well, at that point there isn't much any of us can do for you. You're clearly well into the final stage:

C) Sweet Merciful Fuck, You Should Be On Suicide Watch

Godspeed, my friend. Godspeed. We'll tell your family you loved them.



Till next we meet ...

Sometimes It's Nice When Things Are Nice

You know ... every once in a while I stumble upon a thing that doesn't suck.

This was one of those times.

Sure, it's a little slap-dash and inelegant from an artistic technique standpoint ... but I have to admit ... it made me smile.

Even though I'm nobody's mother.

Thanks, WB. Wherever you are.

I hope your mom appreciated the sentiment.


Till next we meet ...