A Fool's Errands (Monday, 6/7/10)

BP CEO Tony Hayward Edition

1) Whine more. People love it. It's important the world sees that this whole situation is inconvenient for you, too.

2) Look up definition of "Mega-Super-Giganto-Cluster-Fuck" in dictionary. Ignore picture of self.

3) Show sensitivity to environment. Get photographed wringing out a few dead pelicans. Good PR is priceless.

4) Change oil in your Hummer stretch limo party bus tank. Twice.

5) Locate animals not injured or poisoned by your oil. Kick to death.