A Fool's Errands (Monday 2/8/10)

1) Got high blood pressure? That means you've got too much blood. Think about doing some heavy bleeding.

2) Start early. Bet every dime you have on next year's Puppy Bowl.

3) Remember: Sharks only become remorseless killing machines because they've never been shown real love. That big one over there? He just needs a big hug. Maybe a kiss.

4) Vacuum living room.

5) As board member of Tea Baggers movement, think about renaming organization to avoid filthy sexual slang. Consider the Dirty Sanchezes or the Rusty Tromboners.