Don't You Take That Tone With Me! (Stick Figures In Peril!)

Sometimes you just get the feeling the Stick Figures are mocking you.


Yes, please DO be careful, YOUR HIGHNESS.


Till next we meet ...

Stick Babies In Peril!

Stick Babies. You can't take them anywhere. They're ALWAYS getting into some manner of mischief or other.

But what manner of mischief, you ask?

PERILOUS MISCHIEF!

Stick Babies wreck everything that's fun. You just can't have cool stuff around because a Stick Baby will always find a way to imperil themselves.

For instance ... you can forget about giving your shiny, brightly-colored baubles and beads a well-deserved sulfuric acid bath in an uncapped five-gallon bucket on the living room floor!

You just TRY keeping a Stick Baby out of an acid bucket! Yeah, good luck with that, pal!

They won't stop! Even AFTER they've melted their pudgy, little fingers to pudgy, little stumps! They just won't stop until ALL your fun has been dissolved into a frothy, gore-streaked slurry of passive aggression!


And don't even get me started about your collection of giant, randomly explosive, white blood cells!

You think you're having some fun, and the next thing you know, here comes a Stick Baby and ... BLAM!


We can't have nice things.



Till next we meet ...

It's The First Of May!

How do you celebrate it?





Till next we meet ...

May I Take Your Order?

Hi, how are you doing tonight? My name is Robb and I'll be taking care of you this evening. I see you've had some time to look over the menu.

All right then, sir, will you be having the chicken or the fi--- OH MY GOD!!!




Till next we meet ...

Aunt Beru? Could You Please Pass The Blilk?

Is there anything more delicious than poorly-conceived, lazily-named, generic, store brand versions of brand name products?


I mean, seriously! What's more awesome than a nice bowl of Definitely Not Grape Nuts Brand Nutty Nuggets™?

Oh, right.

A bowl of Definitely Not Grape Nuts Brand Nutty Nuggets™ in a bowl of pale turquoise "milk."


It's just what a growing body needs!

You know. Before pissily heading over to Tosche Station to pick up those power converters.

I was not aware you could milk a Jawa.

EDIT: After further research, it appears you can, in fact, milk a Jawa.

EDIT #2: Jawas have glowing teats.



Till next we meet ...

Kali Ma Will Rule The World! (Stick Figures In Peril!)

As you might expect, at a place called "The Temple of Doom" there are plenty of warnings posted. Especially when you have an easily-choppable rope bridge spanning a thousand foot chasm over crocodile-infested waters. It just stands to reason.

Mola Ram, like anybody else, gets tired of paying all those OSHA fines.

Just a reminder, Dr. Jones. Please stay off the rope bridge.


Till next we meet ...

Dumpster Diving (Stick Figures In Peril!)

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: "There's NOTHING in the world more fun than cavorting in and around a fetid, offal-stuffed dumpster!"

But it should come as no surprise that, should you happen to be a Stick Figure, such a joyous activity is fraught with terrible Peril.

Why?

Because, contrary to what many Stick Figures believe, the immediate area surrounding dumpsters does not possess a different gravitational field than the rest of the planet. Clamber up onto a dumpster and start dancing a furious jig ... and you WILL plunge, ass-first, to the hard, unforgiving pavement below, a pulverized coccyx your only bitter reward.

"Oh no! My beautiful, unpulverized coccyx!"

But that's not the only Peril a Stick Figure risks when he stubbornly refuses to scuttle out of the dumpster like a frightened raccoon.

Let's not forget all the tipping. Which inevitably leads to all the terrible, terrible crushing.

"In Russia, dumpster dives on you!"

Till next we meet ...