Thursday, July 8, 2010

What's That You Say?


I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?

I didn't hear you.

My apologies. I had my iPod turned up rather loud.

Could you repeat that?

Oh, I see.

Well, you'll get no argument from me.

That'll do, Slotted Pig. That'll do.



Till next we meet ...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

He's The Stick Figure, I'm The Rapper. (SFiP!)


CAUTION!

This Stick Figure is in grave PERIL!

... of ROCKING the eff OUT!!



Till next we meet ...

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Plus Makes It Better


Oh, sure. You think your wig store is hot shit, don't you.

Of course you do. We know. Because the rest of us have been silently enduring your endless taunting for AGES now.

You're all, like: "My wig store is the best. My wig store has all kinds of wigs."

Well, la-de-friggin-DAH.

Well, let me tell you something, pal. The worm has finally turned.

Your reign of wig-store-themed terror is, at long last, at an end.

Because MY wig store ALSO has "Plus."

PLUS.

Suck on that a while, shit-stick.



Till next we meet ...

Friday, July 2, 2010

Why Would Larry King Ever Retire?


Oh, I think the real reason is pretty obvious.

Plain as the nose on your face, really. Let's lean in for a closer look, shall we?

Clearly he needs to devote more time to his quote-whoring.



Till next we meet ...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Lift AND Separate


Feeling tense? Depressed? Having trouble keeping your chin up?

Well, we here at De Sade Pharmaceuticals have just the medical miracle you've been waiting for!

It's the Cranial Hammock!

Guaranteed to give you that feeling of relaxation you crave!

In fact, you'll be so relaxed after using our product, there's an excellent chance you may never be able to move your body again!

(Side effects may include dry mouth, nausea, trouble sleeping and mild beheading.)

Ask your doctor if the Cranial Hammock is right for you!



Till next we meet ...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

That Was About That Time When Han Just Gave The Fuck Up


"Aw ... what's the point. Maybe I am scruffy-looking."

(sigh)

"Stupid everything."

(weeps quietly)



Till next we meet ...